Good Things are on the Horizon…

So, I guess I should start by saying “silence is golden?” *insert my sheepish grin here*

I am so sorry for the radio silence on here – I am absolutely mortified that my last blog post was in January, that’s just bonkers! In my feeble defense, I have been a bit unwell in the last several weeks. I’ve had my regular migraines (thank you, pseudotumor cerebri), as well as dealing with other health problems – most of which go hand in hand with my autoimmune diseases, etc… I have been trying to get to my physical therapy appointments as I’m able, though, and I’ve also had some other good stuff going on to hopefully improve my health – both physical and mental.

Quite a number of years back, I used to see a local chiropractor on a pretty regular basis – as my insurance would allow. My Dad did as well. This chiropractor was someone who both Dad and myself held in very high regard. (I still do.) A lovely man and just a super kind human. Josh (the chiropractor) really adored my Dad, and had such a lovely rapport with him, and Josh thought the world of Dad. Anyway… I had lost touch with Josh in recent years with everything going on with my Dad’s health and my own… and our whole situation of being locked away in this house, unable to go anywhere or see anyone – well – it just made it pretty impossible to keep in touch with folks. Even people who were, quite literally, right down the street from us (Josh’s office is maybe a 4 minute drive). Complicating things, I had a Facebook glitch a few years ago where I lost a lot of people from my friends list… and I think he must have been one of the lost. I don’t know who all fell off the list but I have had a large number of people send me new friend requests over the past couple of years and ask what happened. I truly haven’t a clue. Thanks, Meta. *sigh* Anyway… fast forward to the present…

So I have been working VERY hard over the past year at trying to reclaim at least SOME of my health from within the depths of hell. I have made some nice progress, albeit slow, but progress is progress – right? But I have had some stumbles of late, as I seem to have sort of hit a plateau on things. In an attempt to try and get more eyes on the situation, I went to send Josh a friend request on Facebook (having only then realised he had dropped off of mine). I explained the whole situation to him. I don’t think he even knew that Dad had passed or anything about what we had been going though, since he wasn’t on my Facebook during all of that time. I then asked if he thought it might be good for me to give chiropractic a try once more to see if it might help with some of my issues – and MAYBE help me to ease some of the pain I am always in. He said he would pop by my house and talk to me about it. I figured my insurance might pay for a FEW visits… it was maybe worth a try, right?

Well, Josh did come by my house one afternoon at lunchtime and he brought along a colleague of his, Dr. Wear (really lovely man) to confer as well. They stayed for a LONG visit… they saw how I was living here… sort of took in the situation, and basically said that my issues went FAR deeper than just needing chiropractic care. I mean, I knew that, but I guess I had been trying to live in denial as much as possible.

I have black mould covering the back of my house – and creeping around to the front now as well. The mould is likely making my illness much worse than it maybe needs to be… so that’s a big deal. My house’s siding is falling off in places, too, and we’ve no idea if there is mould underneath. Additionally, there is a potential roof leak. The 16 year old carpet in the house is also disintegrating – with the padding underneath already history… the fibres from it kick up furiously as I ride my wheelchair over the floor and dust gets EVERYWHERE. There’s a thick layer of dust on almost everything in the house. I am not physically able to stay on top of it, and just pretty much “spot clean” as I go – the places I can reach. So… I am breathing all of that in, too. Not ideal for someone with asthma. I also needed to have my septic tank pumped as it had never been done since we moved here in 2008. Those were the “HUGE” things that needed to be remedied right away to help with my health… but of course, with my financial situation being what it is – I’ve just been sort of pretending none of those things existed… (but failing miserably and having recurring anxiety and panic attacks about it all).

There are also a number of accessibility issues: a wonky stair lift that the company who sold it to us simply ghosted us on, so we were stuck with a lift that was sketchy. In addition to that, there’s the fact that I can’t even get around my own house, outside. I can pretty much only go on the driveway out front, and if the bushes haven’t grown up too much, I can go down the tiny walkway to the front steps (but of course, I don’t try going up the brick steps… that wouldn’t be pretty… lol!) I can’t get around to the sides or the back of my house at all. So I can’t access the yard, trees, and nature that I love so much. It just isn’t possible. Whenever we have a storm roll through, I can’t get out and survey for damage other than just eyeballing the front of the house. I can’t pick up limbs and debris and put them away (there are a couple of downed limbs in the middle of my yard right now that are driving me nuts). It’s frustrating, but… it has become my normal, so I just live with it. I can’t lie, though, it does make me feel rather trapped – which has a knock-on effect on my mental health. But, as has been custom for the last 5 years, as much as I LOATHE the phrase, I just keep saying “it is what it is…”

And speaking of mental health, as I have discussed on the platform before, mine has really taken a beating and I continue to have really tough bouts of depression, as well as ongoing anxiety and panic attacks. I do the best that I can, though… it’s all any of us can do.

These are just a handful of things that I discussed with Josh. And… more importantly… he LISTENED. And he HEARD. And he took what I said to heart.

He left here that day, promising that he was going to try to help me with some things, and also get me set up to have some chiropractic care. I didn’t get TOO excited, really… because over the past several years, I have had a lot of very well-meaning folks tell me they would try to help, etc… and then sort of disappear. And that’s okay – I’m not mad about it. People have lives. And help is… well, let’s face it… help is expensive. Help is also VERY hard to come by. At the heart of it all, I firmly believe that people mostly have VERY good intentions and had they actually been ABLE to help me, they would have done. Also… people get busy. That’s just how things are. I have been disappointed for sure, but was never angry at people when they sort of drifted away. It happens. So, I had absolutely NO expectations from Josh, other than he was going back to the office to see about getting me set up with some awesome chiropractic care – which he offered to take care of for me at his own cost. That floored me. It shouldn’t have, knowing Josh and his kind and giving nature… but it still took my breath away and I was a blubbering idiot about it all. Such a beautiful thing to do… So he left, and I blubbered.

But alas… Josh wasn’t finished.

When I showed up for my first appointment, he strolled into the room with some papers and a list of things he had been working on for me. His office staff told me he’d been burning up the phone lines for about 24 hours trying to move mountains – and apparently… he had amassed the troops, so to speak. Being that he has a successful practice and knows a LOT of people… and being that he’s such a nice fella and people really like him… I guess the man just has LOADS of friends. so he had been hitting them up.

In the last few weeks, I’ve had people come out to measure my house for new flooring, to look at the siding and mould issues, to look at landscaping/yard stuff, and… just last week, someone came and pumped out my septic tank for me! In addition to that, he has someone lined up to come and help get my house cleaned up (and maybe organised a bit better) that is set to start after the flooring stuff gets sorted.

One other huge thing is that he got a psychologist friend of his to agree to come to my house and see me for counselling. I have had three sessions with him already and it is really helping me to “see” some things more clearly. He is a lovely man, and he’s so easy to talk to. I struggle SUPER HARD with self-esteem, self-worth, etc… and have got an awful lot of trauma (both childhood trauma as well as medical trauma). Not to mention the grief that I am still experiencing, both for Dad and for the life I used to have. This doc is helping me to understand how all of that has been affecting me, and I hope will continue to guide me on ways that I can (hopefully) get stronger, mentally/emotionally.

So he has all of these things that are either lined up, or in the process of being lined up, or have been done, or are happening, etc… he even said there are surprises as well. I have NO idea what he means by that, but after the last several years that I’ve had – that sounds lovely!

AND, the chiropractic visits have been going well, too! I know that Josh and his team know their stuff… so I already knew I was in good hands there. As a matter of fact, I had pulled a pectoral muscle rather badly last week (I do NOT recommend to EVER do that, by the way. OUCH!) and it just got worse over the weekend when I reached around behind me on the wheelchair ramp in the garage to close the door. It’s an awkward angle with very little space… so I am constantly hurting myself there. Again – it is what it is. Dr. Love (another of his lovely docs who works there at his clinic) worked some magic on me, and within just minutes, she had me able to raise my right arm – whereas, I had not been able to when I first got there. It is still much better today. I’m just saying… the folks know what they’re doing and they do it well.

So… LOADS of really lovely things happening “behind the scenes” so to speak… Definitely answers to many, MANY prayers sent out by quite a number of people over the years (including myself). The gratitude here on my part is next-level. I doubt I will EVER be able to put it into any sort of words that could accurately depict my feelings, and that is saying something for the wordy girl, here… but it’s the truth.

I will be making a video about all of this soon, but as I’ve been struggling with the migraines quite a lot lately, it is taking me a while – because… well… sitting at a desk trying to edit video clips with a migraine isn’t fun, is it? I have been compiling some footage though, which I hope to share with you all soon. And I will for sure be sharing before, during, and after footage as the work happens around Chez Janni – stay tuned!

I apologise again for the delay in putting out content both here and on YouTube. I am hopeful that maybe I can get back to putting out regular updates from now on, as my health will allow, of course. Thank you for hanging in there with me! And thank you for your continued thoughts, prayers, and all the support. I feel incredibly humbled.