My house has gone “unloved” and forgotten for many years due to my health and financial situation. It has affected my mental health, having to look at this blank, weedy, crumbling, abandoned-looking area every day when I sit outside on the driveway in my wheelchair. It breaks my heart to see it this way, knowing how hard both me and my Dad worked on it since the day we moved in here back in 2008. We used to have flowers everywhere, and even hanging baskets of flowers on the porch! I can remember clearing about 1/4 acre of our land all by myself, little by little, armed with nothing other than a riding mower, a hand saw, a shovel, a wheelbarrow, gloves, and sheer determination. Weeds were towering over me and I had to use a manual hand saw to cut down volunteer trees. It took me several days, but it was so worth it in the end and it opened up our yard so we could lay grass seed and have that part back to lawn as it should have been. I can also remember Dad and me working in tandem to mow both front and back yards and to keep the area behind the fence cleared. We did all of the maintenance of things ourselves as well – pressure washing, painting, applying wood sealer on the back fence, and keeping the little “island” area on the side of the yard tidy where we had a small cemetery for our beloved dogs, complete with flowers and plants and statues. It was all very sweet, and our place looked nice and neat. We even had a tiny bistro table and chairs out there (long since gone now, as they were cheapo plastic that fell apart over the years…)
Then our health went downhill – both of us. We were unable to do any of that stuff anymore. The back fence area became overgrown, as did the cute little island cemetery for the dogs. Paint flaked off the front porch. The fence has been untreated for years and is warped in places and dried out, with some planks even having fallen off and gone missing. Weeds took over the yard. We had no one to help us take care of any of it. We had to just let it fall by the wayside. Then Dad died. Then I got sicker. Then I had brain surgery. Then, then, then… But what about NOW? I’m getting to that…
I am trying very hard to recover to the point where I can putter around a bit outside. I am limited in stamina and reach (I can only get to the part right in front of the house), but I have made a solemn vow to myself to work towards trying to make this a nicer area to look at, both for myself and my neighbours (who, thankfully, have never said anything about how bad it looks, despite all of their homes/gardens looking beautiful). I’m not aspiring for anything grandiose or fancy, just a few plants and flowers in raised containers that I can tend myself from the wheelchair for a pop of colour and to make the place look like someone lives there. These are a few things that I want to get done:
The Project
- Plant flowers/plants in raised, wheelchair-accessible containers.
- Keep the little garden maintained.
- Borrow my friend’s little pressure washer and clean the front steps and railings (I may need help with this one, and that’s okay, I can make my peace with that).
- Touch up the paint on the front porch railings (that one I can do myself from my wheelchair – I have paintbrushes – I used to have my own painting business… it won’t be done overnight, but I can work on it as and when I feel well enough).
For ALL of this, accessibility is key! I need garden stuff that makes it so that I can do things myself rather than having to rely on others for physical help – because I WANT to do these things myself. I NEED to do these things. I need to feel like my days have some sort of purpose… right now, I don’t have that. I need that feeling of accomplishment. It may sound silly, but having been so trapped for so many years – I desperately need to feel independent again.
I want to someday try and get enough money to hire a landscaper to lay down a weed barrier and fill in the areas in front of my porch with gravel/rocks so that I won’t have to deal with all of the weeds that grow so tall every year. I got a ballpark quote the other day from a landscaper I know and he said it would run around $1000 (as they would need to dig up all the grass, level everything out, lay the weed barrier, and fill it in with rocks). I haven’t got that kind of cash, so for the time being, I have to just deal with what I have, and get someone in to run the weed eater for the grass and weeds that pop up. For now, I have had someone cut it all down and spray weed killer on it, which has turned everything (including the grass) brown… and looks a bit sad… (see photos above) but it’s better than having the weedy mess out there and it should keep it all at bay over the autumn and winter months. Fingers crossed.
Any help with these wishlist items would be SO greatly appreciated. I know “gardening” doesn’t seem like a big deal, to most people. Especially able-bodied people who can just pop out and handle all of this sort of stuff themselves. But when one has been bedbound/wheelchair-dependent, housebound, and very ill for years… unable to tend to their yard – and that yard provides them their only reliable “escape” from being confined in the house all day every day… it is a very big deal. The feeling of independence from being able to do some of these things on my own would be incredible, as well. Since I have had this surgery, I am hoping that I will start feeling a lot better. I know I will always have pseudotumor cerebri, but this latest leak has been repaired at least… so I want to try and embrace some days ahead where (hopefully and prayerfully) I can be stronger and more able to care for myself properly. My physical therapists and all the medical people tell me that getting more movement in during my day (even if it is from the wheelchair) is far healthier for me than lying in bed all day… which is what I tend to do when I am in the house – as I give in to the pain and the depression demons.
And no, I am not delusional. I do realise that I am still recovering from the craniotomy. I will have to pace myself and just put in a few minutes here and there. Thankfully, the weather is mild this time of year where I live and should be for the next month or two, so it is the perfect time to tackle it like that. I’d LOVE to be able to get it all sorted before it turns off really cold (especially painting the porch railings), but I will be immensely appreciative and proud of anything I can get done, and anything that doesn’t get done in time can wait for spring.
So without further ado… here is the little wishlist I have created! I know I have asked for an inordinate amount of help over the past couple of years with things – only because I truly needed it. This one is more of a “fever dream” sort of thing, but it is something that is so incredibly near and dear to my heart and could have some far-reaching, positive effects on me and my situation. If you can help, whether it be securing wishlist items or passing along my links… oh man… I would be eternally grateful.
https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/24BUGO0JPJQ32?ref_=wl_share