Conundrums…

The problem with being on a special diet like the Wahls Protocol (necessary to manage my autoimmune health) is that the majority of one’s groceries are perishable. Most of it is fresh produce – meaning that one can fill up one’s refrigerator with all of the lovely, organic produce, etc… but then about 4 or 5 days later – it’s all used up. Or gone bad (which rarely happens, because I do tend to plan my meals well enough to prevent that). But when the food is gone, it’s just gone. Not like processed foods, which you can stockpile in your pantry and always have a pretty decent supply of for longer periods of time. The caveat? Processed food and autoimmune diseases do NOT play nicely together. So they’re a no-no for me. My pantry stays fairly devoid of actual food. I have some bone broth and some olive oil and a couple of bags of nuts in there.

So… The moment arrives when your fridge has been empty for a couple of days, and you actually get all excited because you know your EBT/SNAP (food stamps) card has updated with just enough for a week’s worth of food (that, ironically, is supposed to last for a month). But… then in the very next moment it occurs to you that it does you absolutely no good because you have no way to get to a store to purchase said groceries. Relying on Instacart for delivered food – means added fees, as well as requiring a tip for the driver. I have only got about 40 dollars in my bank account – ALL of which has to cover the rest of the bills for the month that are coming out over the next day or two (auto-draft)…

Also… the $60 quarterly garbage bill still hasn’t been paid that was due on the 23rd…

EBT/SNAP won’t cover the extra charges – just the food. So… no groceries are to be had just yet.

Fridge will remain empty. Well… except for a partial cucumber (which is nearing the end of its usefulness), a couple of tins of tuna/sardines, about a dollop of yoghurt, and a little bit of milk. There’s a little meat in the freezer (a chicken thigh, a beef patty, and some fish) but… I don’t really have much in the way of veg to go with it. Ah well. At least the birdies have food. (except for their beloved matchstick carrots, which we used up yesterday). I do have that bone broth in the pantry…so I can do that… and I can have a glass of milk in place of a meal, too. I’m hoping I can figure something out, because NOT eating enough food is almost as bad as eating the WRONG food on this strict nutrition protocol that I am on.

I should be okay… I won’t starve or anything… but it’s frustrating. And it just adds to the stress I am already under.

At least I don’t live in Alabama. I have been following a story from there where they throw people in JAIL for not paying their garbage bills! Not even joking. I mean… I’ll pay mine, it’ll just be late, there’ll be a fee, and I likely won’t get my garbage picked up for a week or two. I don’t generate LOADS of trash with it being just me on my own… but again… it’s a frustration.

And all of these “little” frustrations (which to me, are actually rather significant ones) do add up…

I’ve really been struggling with my mental health – so it definitely doesn’t help. I may go outside for a bit and get some fresh air. It does tend to help in the moment. Unfortunately, I have been taking a LOT of those “moments” and it cuts into any time that I might have been productive at my desk either working on my TEFL assignment, or… working on one of the numerous online things I am trying to do to earn a buck or two (which have not yet panned out). But… if I were to sit here at my desk, the panic and anxiety… and/or depression, will prevent me from being able to focus and get anything done anyway. I may as well go outside in the driveway and take some deep breaths… and watch the clouds roll past up in the sky.

*DEEP BREATH* Okay… let’s do this…

Happy Monday, all…